


Haircut

by rocksalt_rifle (trismegistus)



Series: Fullmetal Alchemist/Supernatural Mashup [7]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-20
Updated: 2009-05-20
Packaged: 2017-10-07 02:51:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trismegistus/pseuds/rocksalt_rifle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ed never makes anything easy, does he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Ed," Al said patiently as he sat outside the closed bathroom door. "It's not as bad as you think it is." He leaned his head back against the door, legs folded nearly to his chest in the cramped, tiny entrance hallway to the room. There was no response and Al sighed, wrapping his arms around his knees. "You're not impressing anyone with your sulking," he called.

"I'm not sulking!" Of course THAT warranted a response. Al rolled his eyes at the ceiling.

"You're totally sulking, and it's not becoming of you," Al called back. "It could have happened to anyone, hell, it could have happened to me. Do you think I'd be in there sulking if the reverse had happened?"

The door opened with startling swiftness and Al almost fell back into the open doorway, catching himself on the door frame and looking up into Ed's glowering stare. "You," Ed growled, hair hanging over his shoulders and curtaining around his face. He grabbed at a chunk of it, dismayed, and tugged. "This is ridiculous," he wailed, retreating back to the toilet. There was an astonishing amount of blond hair puddled about it, and Al realized Ed must have been cutting it non-stop since they returned to the motel room.

He scooted around so he could watch Ed use his knife as a scissor, cutting a clean path through the hair. He took a good six inches off of it, and he had hardly blinked before it grew back to the length it was at a few seconds prior.

Al couldn't help it. He snickered.

"And now you're laughing at me," Ed said.

"How is it not to your feet by now?" Al said instead of responding, managing to stifle another snicker.

"I don't know," Ed tugged at the ends miserably. "It seems to keep growing to a set length, then stop. I don't know what it means. It's too fucking long, that's what it means." He grabbed his hair with both hands and tugged, scowling. "I look like a girl."

"We'll figure out how to de-hex you," Al said soothingly. "Don't worry, I'm sure it's pretty simple. I'll call Bobby and see if he knows anything we can do."

"We can kill the witch," Ed said darkly.

"I think her dark magic already did her in," Al said patiently as he tugged himself to his feet. "I'll call Bobby. Since it doesn't seem inclined to grow any longer than where it's at, might I suggest-" he watched Ed cut another six inches off and before the lock of hair could hit the floor it had already grown back. "-maybe stop cutting it? It's obviously not helping."

Ed sighed and looked at himself forlornly in the mirror while Al pulled out his cell phone and moved absently toward the beds.

*

"Good news," Al said. "Bobby thinks he knows how to fix it." He stood in the doorway as Ed tugged on his bangs morosely, they now fell to a little past his chin.

"Good, great. Let's get it fixed." Ed straightened, looking at Al expectantly. Al hesitated, and Ed saw it in his eyes. "What?" he asked carefully. "What did Bobby say?"

"The only way to lift a dying hex," Al recited dutifully, "is under the solstice moon."

"The solstice moon," Ed repeated.

"Yeah," Al nodded his head.

"Al," Ed said slowly.

Al threw up both his hands. "It's not that bad, it could be a /worse/ hex-"

"The solstice is almost a month away!" Ed was tugging on his bangs again. He turned frantically to the mirror, still tugging on his bangs. "I look like a GIRL," he said. "Tell Bobby to look harder!"

"I'm not going to tell Bobby to look harder, it's - Ed, it's not that bad, we'll pull it back from your face and things will be fine." Ed was tugging at all the hair now, pulling from his scalp as if pulling it out was going to make things better. Al grabbed at Ed's hands. "You're going to tangle it Ed, dammit it's going to be hard enough to deal with with you having a conniption every few seconds- let me get a brush, we'll pull it back-"

"No!" Ed swatted at Al. "No brushes, no ties, no fucking little girl pig tails I'm going to go find that witch's body and burn it to bones, then salt it and burn it more!"

Al had one of Ed's wrists in his hand. Ed glowered at Al from underneath a curtain of bangs and Al let out an exasperated sigh. "There's no point in burning the body," Al finally said.

"It would make me feel better," Ed mumbled.

"We'll put this town behind us and head over to Bobby's tomorrow," Al said. "The solstice isn't as far off as you think, and besides there are a few herbs and incantations and general things that need to be gathered in order to put on the ritual."

Ed tore his wrist from Al's grip and stalked out of the bathroom, flopping face-first on his bed. Al groaned and looked at all the blond hair on the floor, before turning off the light and retreating to where his laptop sat on the table, screen gone dark from inactivity. It was going to be a long, long month.

*

Al was up before Ed, as usual. He was brewing coffee in the cheap yellowed pot the room had left and the smell of solid black coffee got Ed out of bed. He groaned, his hair a tangled mess and obscuring most of his head and shoulders.

"Morning, Cousin It," Al said, holding out a mug to Ed.

"Fuckin' hate you," Ed groaned. He tried to tug his fingers through the hair and gave up an inch or two from his scalp. He sat on the bed and stared into his coffee as Al fished through his duffel bag, coming up with a brush. Ed eyed him suspiciously through matted bangs.

"Turn around," Al said, dragging a chair to the side of the bed. Ed looked at the brush in his hand and winced, but did as he was told, fishing the remote out and turning his attention to local morning TV.

It took the better part of twenty minutes to work all the tangles out of Ed's hair. When it wasn't a rat's nest of knots it lay flat against his back, the tips falling to his shoulder blades. Al continued to brush it well past the point of working all the knots out, and once he was certain Ed was completely distracted by the TV, started working the fine gold hair into a heavy plait.

He tied it off and flicked the end of it. Ed looked over his shoulder in surprise at Al, then twisted his head a few times in confusion, the weight laying against his back in a strange manner. "What'd you do?" he asked in confusion, and Al draped the braid over his shoulder.

"Just pulled it out of the way," he said. "Now it won't blow if you want to ride with the windows down."

"Oh," Ed said, and looked at the braid. He craned his neck but the one mirror in the bedroom wasn't at a good angle to see, so he got up from the bed and retreated into the bathroom to look at it. "It doesn't look that girly," he said happily. "Where'd you learn how to do that?"

"Mei," Al said, packing his clothing and other miscellany into his duffel. "She wears long braids, and she likes help getting things braided again if she takes them out." Al realized what he'd said a moment too late and glanced up at Ed, who was giving him a sideways glance.

"I've never seen Mei with her hair down," he said thoughtfully.

"Uh," Al said dumbly, but then Ed's cell phone rang. He exhaled as Ed answered it.

"About seventy miles outside of Greenville," Ed said, and looked around, before grabbing his watch off of the dresser, fastening it on while he balanced cell between shoulder and ear. "Nah, we're not in the middle of anything. We can be there in seven hours or so." He nodded once or twice, then hung up the phone. "Roy needs some help with a hunt, he thought it was something small and it turned out to be a werewolf pack. Full moon's in a few days."

"I thought you didn't want to be seen," Al said, and Ed shrugged.

"A hunt's a hunt, besides it's on the way to Bobby's," he said practically.

Al slung his duffel over his shoulder. "Let's get on the road, then."


	2. Chapter 2

Roy raised an eyebrow as Ed scratched at the side of his head absently. Al looked between Ed and Roy and Roy thought about saying something - then Ed looked up at him, caught the question somewhere between thought and spoken, and said in a low dangerous voice "you like your teeth, right?"

There were other topics of discussion. Roy cleared his throat and pointed to the map, spread out on an old uneven picnic table, the corners weighted down with various books. Each suspected werewolf slaying was marked with a red marker. There were enough that several dots bled into the other. "All this in one month?" Al said in disbelief.

"Thankfully not, but over the course of a year," Roy said, one hand flat on the map. He pointed to three blue dots. "Those were victims who survived the attack. One died at the hospital later but the other two recovered."

"More werewolves," Ed muttered.

"Looks like," Roy agreed. "Later spates of murders were scattered around the two survivor's homes - but there weren't any other victims those months."

"The original werewolf moved on," Al said.

"Or was killed," Ed said. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Roy. "Only two werewolves?"

"Listen to yourself," Roy said after a moment's silence. "'Only' two? Or is this hunt beneath the great and talented Elric brothers?"

"Ed-" Al started.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ed asked sharply, eyes narrowed.

"I think you know well what it means," Roy returned. "I think you're getting full of yourself with your success rates on hunts and it's dangerous-"

"You have a problem with how we hunt, Mustang?"

"/Ed,/" Al said, grabbing Ed's shoulder and digging his fingers in as he felt the muscles tense.

Ed tried to shrug Al off but Al was having none of it. "I think we're done here," Ed snapped.

"Good, I don't need any help from wannabe-cheerleaders anyway," Roy retorted right back.

Al's grip didn't stop Ed, he twisted out of it and caught Roy across the face with a solid right hook. Roy took a few steps back, blocked the next shot and then Ed's leg shot out and they were down in the wood chips, pummeling each other.

"For fuck's SAKE," Al shouted, grabbing Ed by the back of the jacket and hauling him up, off of Roy and flinging him bodily back against the picnic table. He imposed himself between them and Ed sat on the bench part of the picnic table heavily, swiping the back of his hand through the blood trailing down from his busted lip. His hair had come partially out of the braid and was frizzing around his head, and there was a wood chip caught in his bangs.

Roy was getting unsteadily to his feet, bloodied and bruised. He glared at Al for a second, then his eyes darted to Ed and back to Al. Whatever he was going to say died on his lips at Al's withering gaze. "What the hell was that?" Al asked. Roy spat blood out on the ground and avoided Al's eyes. "Do you want our help or don't you?"

"C'mon Al," Ed said roughly, getting to his feet. "Let's blow this shit stand, we have better things to do with our time."

Roy exhaled noisily. "I can't take two werewolves on my own, is that what you want to hear me say? I'll be lucky to get one on my fucking own and that would alert the other one, well before I'd be able to kill it it'd get me or go to ground. And more people would die." Roy's eyes were dark as he glared at Ed. "So yes. 'Only two.'"

Al threw his hands up in the air. "Sometimes I wish you two would just get a room," he said, stalking back to the map, missing the startled glance that was exchanged between Roy and Ed. Al clapped Ed on the shoulder and said "You're hair's completely out of that braid."

"Well, do YOU want to fix it?" Ed snorted, leaning back over the map as Roy approached them both warily.

"Nope, it's your problem now." Al said.

*

So the hair is a witch's dying curse?" Roy said, seated on the edge of a queen bed, eating a burger from the fast-food place they'd passed on the way into town.

Al had set up camp on a large wooden desk pushed against the wall, working out the werewolves individual schedules for them to shadow the next day. "Only Ed," Al said with a sigh, typing quickly at the laptop.

"You can say that again," Roy said, more to his burger than to Al. He looked over at the bathroom door, which Ed had dived into as soon as the door had been unlocked. "He's taking a damn long time, someone else might want to use some hot water!" Roy yelled the last bit of the sentence, but was met with no response.

"I don't get why you're so keen on sharing a room anyway," Al said without looking up from his laptop.

"I've been sleeping in my car the last two nights," Roy said. "Some of us don't run scams to get our rooms, Elric."

"Fair enough," Al muttered.

Roy finished off his burger and tossed the wrapper in the trash before getting up and banging on the bathroom door. "You done in there yet, princess?"

"I'm going to fucking KILL you, Mustang!" Ed roared, and Roy took a few steps away from the door.

"Your funeral," Al said. Ed tore the door open, one hand on the towel barely cinched around his waist and long blond hair plastered to his shoulders and back. "Ed, put pants on before you kill Roy," Al didn't bother looking up. "You'll need both hands, and that's a white towel. The bloodstains would be suspicious."

Roy glared at Al. "Whose side are you on, anyway?"

Ed marched up to Roy, dripping wet. "The bathroom's free, PRINCESS." Then he flung himself onto the bed, still sopping wet. Roy opened his mouth, dismayed, looked to Al, then back to Ed, who was currently rubbing his wet head against the pillows and grinning smugly at Roy.

Very smugly. With his legs spread and inviting and towel hiked high and -

Roy snarled something unintelligible and slammed the bathroom door behind him, lock clicking audibly.

Al lifted his head to see his brother sitting upright, towel spread across his lap, and wringing his hair into the bedspread. Ed grinned evilly and Al sighed, wondering if it would be safer to sleep in the car tonight.

*

When Roy had finally composed himself enough to come back out of the bathroom, Ed was sitting on the edge of Roy's bed, wearing a pair of boxers and working on drying his hair with a towel. The TV was on and Al was nowhere in sight. The laptop was gone, too. "Where's Al?" Roy asked carefully.

"One of the werewolves works night shift at an all-night coffee shop," Ed said, looking over at Roy. "Al decided it was worthwhile to do some surveillance, and decided I couldn't be trusted with his laptop. Whatever." Ed scratched at his head and then pulled at his hair. "This is so fucking annoying, you know."

"So Al's gone for a while?" Roy repeated.

Ed shot Roy an irritated glance. "You are so not getting any," he said. "I'm mad at you." He picked up the brush and started dragging it roughly through his wet hair, muttering darkly under his breath.

Roy took the brush from Ed's hand. Ed looked up in surprise, and then acquiesced and allowed Roy to brush his hair. "Such a pain in my ass," he muttered while Roy gently worked the brush through Ed's thick wet hair. "Do you guys get off on brushing it or something?"

"No," Roy said, sitting behind Ed on the bed and leaning in, folding his arms over Ed's shoulders and burying his face in the damp blond locks. He inhaled deeply, Ed smelled of the cheap hotel shampoo and aftershave. Ed tilted his head tiredly but didn't complain. "I'm sorry I called you a cheerleader," Roy said, brushing the hair away from Ed's neck and biting him lightly there.

Ed made a slightly irritated noise. "Well, I'm not sorry I punched you," Ed said. He tried to twist away. "Remember what I said about you not getting any?"

Roy threaded his arms under Ed's, clasping them about Ed's middle. "But I said I was sorry," he purred into Ed's neck.

Ed put his hands over Roy's and pushed them insistently south. "Who said apologies got you anywhere," he muttered, turning his head so Roy could kiss him. Roy slid his hands into Ed's boxers and cupped him easily. He pressed Ed's cock against his stomach, rubbing it up and down while it was still contained in his boxers. Ed reached back and flailed for Roy's head with one hand, the other wrapped around Roy's wrist. He screwed his eyes shut his mouth fell open.

Roy carded his fingers through Ed's damp hair with his free hand while he stroked Ed's cock with his other. Ed groaned loudly then pushed back, half-turning in Roy's lap and then forcing Roy onto his back, straddling the other man's chest, hands on either side of his head. "Roy," Ed panted, his hair falling about his head like a curtain. He heeled off his boots with practice, barely disturbing Ed as he did so.

It was a familiar song-and-dance. Roy clung to Ed's arms, doubled nearly in half as Ed fucked him with broad and sure strokes. Ed's gold hair kept tangling and he'd swipe it out of his eyes, the tracing of it on Roy's skin feather-light when Ed leaned down to lick or bite.

And then when it was all over Ed sprawled across Roy's chest a happy exhausted weight. Roy would have been content to go to sleep like this, with an armful of Ed but then Ed remembered that Al would be coming back to the room, and had a fit until Roy pulled himself upright long enough to put on pants before passing out on the bed. Ed sat beside Roy and brushed his hair out of the sex-induced tangle before crawling into the undisturbed bed and falling quickly asleep as well.


End file.
